Das Geburtstagfest

iamiorek @ 2008-06-22T00:16:00

2008-06-22T07:17:39Z

Additionally, one of my friends keeps drunk IMing me and I'm pretty sure I could publish the collected drunk instant messages of shu*** and market them as an avant garde novel.

Armored bear conga line

2008-06-22T06:58:44Z

Tonight was the second of a two-for-two weekend Bat Mitzvah marathon. Last week's was charmingly unconventional--it was a toast rather than a dance party, and although the endless speeches about the strong women of the X family became tiresome after a while it was a touching idea. This one, however, reached new heights of Jewish gluttony and embarrassment in its conventionality. The mildly distressed-looking waiters drifted through the room with hors d'oeuvres trays piled high with grilled cheese sandwich halves, pigs in blankets, mini pizzas and potstickers.

When it came time for the buffet, mildly distressed-looking guests drifted among tables covered in mini hamburgers, pungent asparagus and uninspiring penne. Many appeared slightly puffy from their cocktails and comfort food appetizers, but that didn't stop us from piling our plates high and finishing the little baggies of Broadway themed M&Ms on our place settings. Also in keeping with the (extremely typical) Broadway theme, our night's entertainment was a series of painfully off-key karaoke performances with intermittent cuts from Hairspray.

The theme ebbed slightly at the middle of the party, when the DJ put on the Horah and four strong men lifted each member of the honored family in turn on chairs. After a slightly drunken round of Mayim, "Hot Hot Hot" came on to a cheer of recognition. As three quarters of the room rushed into formation, a cousin of the Bat Mitzvah slowly stepped backward and shook her head, cocktail in hand. "No way. I do not do conga lines."

Germany blog

2008-05-26T04:06:42Z

I'm going to be keeping a blog in Germany. I started it a while ago but I feel like now is the proper time to unveil it. The school year is drawing to a close and as soon as I'm in California it'll be pre-Europe rush time. Lots of phrase books and packing and suitcases and shit. So here you go:

http://hausderdeutschenkunst.wordpress.com

If you want a postcard e-mail me your summer address (rachel(dot)berkowitz(at)gmail(dot)com).

Yo baby

2008-05-19T06:36:37Z

There is now no ice zu brechen.

Nighty night.

iamiorek @ 2008-03-05T09:47:00

2008-03-05T15:48:33Z

Hey, it's the end-quarter crazies! HEY! ISN'T THIS FUN! WHERE IS MY COFFEE.

iamiorek @ 2008-02-25T12:19:00

2008-02-25T18:19:58Z

I don't understand video art.

Treatises on one subject

2008-02-22T05:18:46Z

I'm no fascist, but there are some things that should stay white, like my Rasputin t-shirt. What the hell, people?

It's one thing to lose a sock in the dryer. It's a completely different thing when that sock is a perfect black cashmere blend.

None of this would be a problem if I still lived in California, where everything is always perfect.

Did you know?

2008-02-20T02:40:29Z

I have three blogs, on three different "blogging services". They're all registered under different names and deal with different subjects. I bet you DIDN'T KNOW!

FLAG

2008-02-18T16:17:07Z

My FLAG statement is so horrible. It's a like an essay about a book I didn't read. I wouldn't give me a grant after reading it. Urgh. Additionally and perhaps more pertinently, blueberries are disgusting when you heat them up, but delicious cold. How is this?

My house plant

2008-02-12T16:43:44Z

My house plant just froze to death. I have this awesome twisted bamboo stalk that I keep in a 200 mL Erlenmeyer flask (an approximate image for the confused). It lives on the windowsill because that's where it gets the most sun. It's been thriving in this wasteland for the past seven months, but lately it's been getting a case of the old "yellow stalk". Last night I left the window cracked open so that my demonic radiator wouldn't suffocate me in the night, and when I woke up the floor was covered in water, the bamboo was completely yellow, and its roots were suspended in an Erlenmeyer flask-shaped cone of ice. The flask itself had shattered, but its pieces remained assembled in the correct positions until I tried to pick it up.

ISN'T THAT WEIRD?

iamiorek @ 2008-02-08T04:03:00

2008-02-08T10:05:47Z

You're not who you know. You're not even who you like. You're when you finish your essays, which you don't. Just because they each have 35 doesn't mean I can't have 235. Definitions are relative. Hry orm. er,bv

iamiorek @ 2008-02-05T01:27:00

2008-02-05T07:28:08Z

I just ordered a computer, guys. Finally, a computer! I've never had one of those before.

iamiorek @ 2008-02-03T23:21:00

2008-02-04T05:41:08Z

There is a chair in Brandon's room. It's a nice chair. It's huge and off-white, with vertical stripes of alternating stitching in the same thread. The stripes almost look like a series of panels in relief. In 20th Century Art, Christine talked about de Stijl and early Bauhaus artists' use of panels of color as a counterpoint to architectural form. In a famous de Stijl project, Cafe de l'Aubette, one of the artists enhanced the paint's prominence in a room by applying paint on panels in relief and leaving other parts of the wall blank. I think it looked horrible, but then I don't like de Stijl.
The point is, Brandon and I organized his room today. It was rewarding. I feel good about it. This chair has never been available for occupation by human beings before. I have an essay to write for tomorrow on Don Quixote, and I'm not quite sure how to approach it. I have nothing I really want to say in response to the prompts. I'm sure I'll come up with something though. My Don Quixote class is great. The lectures bring up topics ranging from hermeneutic dissonance to the four humors. It's fantastic. My favorite digression so far has been one on the Ages of Man, a Greek historians' tradition of classification. I just wish I could talk about how cool Hesiod is rather than trying to distill a specific meaning from such a rich novel.

Are you serious, shithead?

2007-12-27T09:03:24Z

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
I learned how to accept responsibility for my actions and stop being a child. Hopefully I'll put these lessons to use eventually.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't remember this sorta shit.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Hahaha. I'm imagining this like, locationally close to me and I just got this great image of a woman suddenly and laboriously giving birth on an El train. No.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, but someone close to someone close to me died, and it was very shocking.

5. What countries did you visit?
...

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
a routine and a spot of self-discipline

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
It's all a blur already, but I'll probably remember Thursday, September 20th for a good long while. And of course LOOPTOPIA 2007.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
getting over it

9. What was your biggest failure?
autumn quarter

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I discovered new and exciting chronic ailments, but nothing special happened.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I buy a lot of things.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
everyone at home, except for the usuals

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
...

14. Where did most of your money go?
clothes and stupidly expensive meals, as usual

15. What are you really, really, really excited about?
six months in Europe, writing my BA

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
"Down on Me" and "Foxhole, Foxhole"

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? MUCH happier
b) thinner or fatter? definitely fatter

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
reading, thinking

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
procrastinating, complaining, SLEEPING

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
This is behind us now.

21. What was your favorite month of 2007?
May, because of LOOPTOPIA and a fabulous weekend with my mother, the only person who consistently isn't an asshole to me

22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
check

23. How many one-night stands?
one...night...STA-ANDS

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Arrested Development

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I try not to hate. It's bad for my complexion.

26. What was the best book you read?
Probably Nicomachean Ethics, but I didn't read much so I'm not the person to ask.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Television

28. What did you want and get?
boy

29. What did you want and not get?
to know what I want to do with my LIFE

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN, obviously

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I did homework and went out to dinner with Brandon on my 19th birthday. The day after I threw a party.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
routine and self-discipline

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
miscellany

34. What kept you sane?
no

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
James Spader, because this is a year that begins with 2

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
uh...

37. Who did you miss?
everyone, at times

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Second-string hipsters & co., Andy

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
Nobody likes someone who's all talk, especially if she's boring.

40. Quote that sums up your year:
"Who am I?"

Oh and I forgot why I came here in the first place: GOING ABROAD IS GOING TO BE MUCH MORE EXPENSIVE THAN I HAD EARLIER ANTICIPATED.

Careful, Sam

2007-12-06T23:19:19Z

You're gonna choke on that pickle.

Survey

2007-12-06T20:58:53Z

Does anyone know anything about waffles.fm or what.cd (particularly, where could I get an invite)?

Ten pages in seven hours

2007-12-04T08:26:11Z

CAN IT BE DONE?

Also I'm like .4 over the healthy weight BMI and I have to lose like three pounds or I'm going to die of heart failure before I turn 35. My life. is. hopeless.

Coffee is totally effective.

Spponbread

2007-12-02T21:28:21Z

Most magical food ever: spoonbread. It separates into layers as if by magic.

N.O.

2007-11-21T05:05:58Z

I am throwing away my Treo and using a Google Calendar and a notebook. I am switching from Verizon to AT&T. I am keeping appointments. I am going to classes. I am making my bed. I am doing my homework. I am working 15 hours a week. I am reading everything. I am giving myself time to think. I am going for runs every other day. I am respecting the power of a beautiful user interface.

Pro/con

2007-11-20T23:13:43Z

Pro: I ate four cookies this morning so I could avoid having to eat all day! Still not hungry = success.
Con: Sosc.
Pro: Marx.
Con: Ex-
Pro: Wrestler
Con: di
Pro: duce
Con: fluence
Pro: fit

Caloric ambitions

2007-11-12T17:28:42Z

I heard yesterday that people are more likely to stick to resolutions if they tell more people about these resolutions. For each person told about a goal, in fact, the likelihood of completion increases exponentially. So maybe statistics are bogus, but I think this is pretty believable. For this reason, I've decided to let you all know that I plan to lose 10 pounds. I'm seriously going to do it. Wish me luck.

What I have been doing with my life

2007-11-10T20:27:21Z

It's been a while since I last posted, and I can mostly attribute that to my shiny new boyfriend and the fact that he's never bored of me, which sort of still surprises me. This school year so far (the first quarter is already drawing to a close, which I can hardly believe) and this summer have been largely dedicated to learning how to take care of myself. Of course I have dabbled in money management and keeping house before, but I've never really been obligated to do either seriously. The first three quarters of my summer were spent trying to figure myself out emotionally and socially, and when I moved into my apartment in August my life of material responsibility kicked off full steam. It's been a very SIGNIFICANT and POSITIVE experience for me to do all this changing and thinking and living, but it's trying and time consuming. I've been neglecting loads of minor responsibilities and old friends, and I feel awful about that. In an attempt to make my life easier to deal with I deleted like 200 Facebook friends by whom I don't need to be distracted anymore. Hopefully that will help me use Facebok as a tool for communicating with and remembering people I actually care about, but who knows? The tool itself is a distraction anyway.

I read about this guy who wrote a book called The 4-Hour Work Week in the NYT this morning. He seems like a huge douche bag, but from what I can glean from the article his ideas make sense. Cut distractions like recreational e-mail and RSS feeds and outsource small duties and you can cut actual work time a LOT (perhaps not by a factor of four, but still). An entrepreneur in England cut his entire company's week down to four days by following the methods outlined in the book. I don't know if I can afford to eliminate all distractions from my life (they're what make me interesting, I think) but I have naturally eliminated a lot of the useless shit I used to do just by virtue of the fact that I have less time to do work now that I'm off gallivanting with Brandon &co. all the time. The one thing I haven't been making time for anymore is working out, though, which is a little horrible. The twenty mile Sadie Hawkins' bike scavenger hunt/race today will make me feel a less sluggish, hopefully, but it's running I really need. Anyway, best to all and see a lot of you when I come home in December!

The story, morning glory

2007-10-22T17:33:10Z

I got an extension on my textbook review, thank Allah and everyone else up there, and I'm currently squatting in my work office in the CSL finishing my English paper that's due in class at 4:30. It's been an absolutely foul experience, but I think this whole assignments-due-in-every-class-on-one-day-when-I-am-taking-four-and-auditing-one-on-the-quarter-system-sweet-Jesus fiasco has really gotten me back into the swing of things here. I feel ready to take on anything. I am a God. Watch my shining gold hair blow in the wind as a ride on my chariot to the great plains of Heliopolis, where my devotants await to deliver upon me gifts of sweet rare fruits and most shining jewels. Today is a day of glory.

The post-modern Bible

2007-10-21T23:13:18Z

first fridays: wicker park critical mass
third fridays: hyde park critical mass
third saturdays: midnight marauders
fourth fridays: chicago critical mass

coffee shop, 24 hours? dog.

iamiorek @ 2007-10-17T11:44:00

2007-10-17T16:46:05Z

No no no no no
So much work
Able to do: nothing
Not leaving campus until one paper is done
Not attending half my classes

strategy: bad
outlook: bleak